Motivation is sometimes used as a noun, like it’s an object–a tool you either have on hand or you don’t. You have a hammer, or you don’t. You are motivated, or you are not. Thinking about it that way makes you feel powerless, though, like you don’t have a choice in the matter.
Instead, I like to think about motivation as a verb–motivating.
Motivation can be built through intentional choices about how we think about ourselves, the task, and the outcomes of the task. We develop a toolset to build motivation–strategies to get ourselves up and going, to tackle tasks that make us anxious, are boring, or just require a lot of effort.
Put like that, it makes it seem like motivation is totally under the control of the person in question, which isn’t always the case. Like so many things, motivation can be complicated. For neurodivergent people, and/or those with AD/HD, anxiety, and depression can impact motivation in ways that can’t be easily changed–it’s not as easy as just “making yourself do it.”
But the same tools that help neurotypical people motivate can help everyone–it’s just a matter of how effective, which tools are best for each person, and how much it’s possible to improve motivation given the circumstances.
When I’m looking at how someone typically motivates themselves, I often think of the “carrot and the stick.” Imagine you had a mule you needed to move–there’s two ways to get them to move. You can hit it with a stick until it moves, or you can offer it a carrot and it will move toward it.
People tend to motivate themselves the same way. “The stick” can be many things; it can be getting really mad at yourself, guilt tripping yourself, or building anxiety about negative outcomes. It’s an attempt to inspire action by harnessing uncomfortable emotions or focusing on the consequences of failing to act.
“The carrot” on the other hand, is motivating yourself by harnessing positive feelings and focusing on the positive results of acting. “Once I get this done, I’m free to read for an hour.” “It’ll feel so good to get this over with!” “I want to be a good student, and doing this will help me get there.”
While there’s some room for either approach, I strongly encourage people to use carrots over sticks. Research shows that positive reinforcement changes behavior more efficiently than punishment, for one thing.
The stick can be effective to spur someone into action, but it’s not comfortable and can have negative side-effects. It tends to lower self-esteem, contributes to higher anxiety, and can lead to thinking negatively about yourself. It’s hard to feel confident when you’re routinely beating yourself up.
The carrot, on the other hand, can be aspirational. Finding the things you care about and pushing yourself towards them can be an uphill battle, but will hopefully leave you feeling better over-all.
Some tasks can seem overwhelming, which can make it difficult to get started. Anxious brains can make something difficult seem impossible, so anything that can make an intimidating project seem more manageable can make it easier to motivate. Breaking a big task down into one or two smaller starting tasks, for example, and then focusing only on the task in front of you. If you are feeling overwhelmed by cleaning your room, start with just picking up socks. Then pants. Chip away at it, and focus on progress on the first step, rather than all the steps beyond it.
Some tasks seem like they’re not worth starting because you won’t get it all done, or you’re worried you won’t do it well enough. In those cases, I recommend giving yourself “partial credit” for starting–counting it as a victory to just get moving. Finishing would be best, but starting and making some progress is certainly better than not starting at all. Celebrate partial success!
Don’t let “perfect” get in the way of “good enough.” Having a task be “done well enough” is better than “undone and potentially perfect.”
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Sometimes, you just need to have it done, and quality doesn’t really matter. Sometimes, done is all that’s important.
留言